The Open Road
I’ve never really felt like I could belong here. I kind of always knew, always had that feeling inside of me, that call, that need… New horizons, open road, thrill, adventure… Like a call I can’t fight. I lived in a lot of different places trying to find home but the truth is, home can be anywhere for me. I can feel home crashing on a friend’s couch or in a motel room in the middle of nowhere, like a blessing and a curse at the same time. So many times I wished to stop having this feeling, being able to stay somewhere more than a few months, to find a steady job, to stay in a relationship, have a normal life with normal dreams, 9 to 5 in an office… I I wasn’t born in a traveling family, my parents weren’t really wealthy so except for the summer holidays in a little campground by the river in South of France or school trips in Europe, I’ve never really traveled the World as a kid… until I finally turned 21. America has always been a dream but no one seemed to want to share it with me. So I just leapt and book that plane ticket Paris to LAX, alone. I visited LA and the area, Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon… It was good, but not enough! I returned to LA for 2 months the next year, spent few months in New York and New Jersey, doing small road trips to Maryland, Pennsylvania, Washington DC, went back to LA, Vegas and Arizona… I was happy, having a good life but still not feeling like I belong. What was wrong with me ? I went to Tokyo, but still couldn’t feel complete. So I decided to go back on the West Coast, but this time I will try something different… I went back to France to work and save money and I took a plane ticket one more time.
My plan was simple : to rent a car, pack my stuff and go on the road ; from LA to Vegas, Zion and Bryce, Salt Lake to Moab, Arches, Canyonland, Monument Valley, Page and Antelope Canyon, the Grand Canyon again and finally Phoenix Arizona. I could be describing my trip and all these places but you have probably read the same thing on Trip Advisor ten time before ! So I will tell you about what you don’t read on the Internet : feelings. I wanted to discover all these American wonders, I didn’t know I would discover myself on the way. Every single places I saw was beautiful and breathtaking but more than that, it was the journey that was the most amazing part. I know, spending 7 hours in a car all by yourself with only music doesn’t seem super attractive, but I felt amazingly good. I also realized I needed only 3hrs to start talking to myself… all good, a little bit of crazy is sane right?! Spending all this time alone makes you learn a lot about yourself. It makes you appreciate your own company and stop feeling like you need someone to enjoy all the beautiful experiences you’re living. You have plenty of time to think about what you really want, how you want it. How do you want your life to be? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Where do you see yourself now?… It’s real quality time makes you appreciate your own company and stop feeling like you need someone to enjoy all the beautiful experiences you’re living. You have plenty of time to think about what you really want, how you want it. How do you want your life to be? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Where do you see yourself now?… It’s real quality time u confidence and so much strength.
And sometimes I still ask myself “what is wrong with me?”, but I don’t really care that much anymore. I’m happy, I’m living. I’m not just looking at life from the side of the road, waiting for it to pass me by, I’m one of these lucky and crazy persons that are part of the show, driving the road a 100 mph ! I found my way, I found home and it’s wherever I lay my head at night. I’m happy on the road, sleeping on the white unpersonal hotel sheets, living out my suitcase, changing shoes in the trunk of my car, feeling exhausted but sleeping only 3hrs the next night to make the most of the journey. I love being on the road to randomly call a friend I haven’t seen in a while and ask if I can crash for the night, that kind of friendship with no pressure and just living the moment. I love the road and that feeling you have to be in the present, to just enjoy it. Of course you can plan the trip ahead but then you have to live it and let the road amaze you. I’m probably a bit crazy but who cares, I am free. One last thing : don’t misunderstand me, I might not need one and only place to call home for now, but I can’t live without a home. I’m not sure anyone really can. Home is where the heart is. Home is in people I love. Home is my parents’ house during Christmas holidays, home is the Sherman’s patio at Thanksgivings, home is a Uber ride with a friend in PB, home is a text, a call in the middle of the night, home is a glass of French wine on the beach in California … and people usually don’t realize they make me feel home with these small details but this is the magic of it. And when home becomes feelings and not a place, this is real freedom.
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